A READY Look at Toddler Biting

By Cynthia A. Frosch, Ph.D.

Several years ago, at the annual meeting of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC, November 2001), a variety of researchers and early childhood professionals gathered together to learn about topics ranging from quality child care to how to include fathers in children’s lives. One particularly hot topic was biting behavior in young children. If you are a parent of a toddler, you may have experience with biting. Whether your child was the biter or the recipient of another child’s bite, you may have experience emotions like fear, anger, or frustration. Positive steps toward decreasing biting behavior include increasing parents’, teachers’, and caregivers’ understanding of why biting occurs and offering some practical steps to help.

While research on biting behavior is limited, discussions of biting can be found in a variety of books and magazines and among parents and teachers in playgroups or child care settings. Why? Because biting is a behavior that gets attention! It can be scary; it can cause bleeding or leave marks, and it gets people moving.

Vickie Young-Chiverton and Renee Hartje of Child & Family Resources, Inc. in Tucson, Arizona were among those who presented workshops on the how’s and why’s of toddlers’ biting. Excerpts from their presentation, entitled “Having a little bite with your friends” are summarized below.

Why do children bite?
There are lots of reasons why young children bite. Doing a little perspective taking and putting yourself in the position of a toddler may help you understand this behavior. Think about what it’s like to only have a few words that you can say, and you’re tired, hungry, frustrated, or spying a toy that you want to have NOW. Maybe you are getting new teeth, miss your bottle, or just want someone’s attention. How can you get your needs met when you don’t have the words to say what you want and there’s so much going on inside and around you? A bite may be just the way to connect with another person, get the toy you want, or release some built up tension.

But it came out of nowhere!
Although it may seem like biting comes out of nowhere, a closer look may show just when and why a bite occurred. Maybe a child bites most in the morning, after having been separated from a parent. Maybe he bites most before lunch or naptime, when he is hungry or tired. Perhaps she bites when there are too many children in one space with too few toys. Or maybe she bites when she plays with a particular child or children. Carefully watching children and noting when, who, and what happened before the bite may help you see the why of a bit more clearly.Observation can reveal a pattern in a child’s behavior.

An ounce of prevention and a bit of intervention. Preventing biting takes a bit of effort on the part of teachers, parents, and caregivers. Adults can maintain a good perspective by keeping in mind that biting can be seen as developmentally appropriate and that biting does not mean that a child is a bad person, a discipline problem, or on his or her way to a lifetime of negative behaviors.

When adults stay calm and gentle, they show that they are able to support and help children who are experiencing intense emotions. If possible, help the child who bit and the child who was bitten stay together and work it out. Talk, label, and offer alternatives to help children find other ways to get their needs met.

Other suggestions:
⌂ Offer plenty of toys and space for young children and lots of opportunities for independence.
⌂ Let children know what they can do, what they should be doing, and how to get your attention or the attention of other children.
⌂ As much as possible, maintain a predictable schedule so that children can feel secure in their environments.
⌂ Focus on transitions (e.g., from outside to indoor play; napping to play; play to eating) so that children can move smoothly between activities.
⌂ Model gentle touches and caring behavior so that children can “see” what such behaviors look like.

A READY Plan:
► Create a log of when bites occur. Note the children involved, the time of day, and anything else that might have been going on at the time. Identifying patterns for bites can help you to prevent (or at least decrease) them.

► Be consistent. Very consistent. A couple of days of extra supervision does not mean that the behavior will never occur again. Several weeks without a bite is more promising! Develop a plan to use in the classroom or at home—this may mean that you keep a child close to you more during “high probability bite times” or keep a closer eye on a child’s play and interactions.

► Talk “out loud” and help children find both words to label their feelings and alternatives to biting. For example, if a bite occurs after one child takes a toy from another child, consider saying, “You were mad because you wanted that toy. It’s okay to be mad, but it is not okay to bite. You can say ‘no’ or ‘mine’ but no biting.” Or, “You look upset because she took your chair. You can choose another chair or get a teacher, but you cannot bite.”

► Make “patience” a mantra. It takes time for a child to change his or her behavior and for parents, teachers, and care providers to develop an effective plan. Honor small achievements—if a child goes from ten bites a week to seven that’s progress!

► Look for the meaning behind the message. Biting can be a very scary behavior for everyone involved—thechild who bites, a child who is bitten, parents (of the biter and the bitten), and teachers. Biting may be your child’s way of signaling that they are over-stimulated, overtired, or in need of more attention, space, or time. Viewing children’s behavior as a signal can help you respond with understanding, consistency, and support rather than anger, judgment, or punishment.