- Don’t hit. Teach gentle hands by using gentle hands.
- Recognize and respect that you child has his own unique perspective, needs, and desires. Try to see a situation from your child’s perspective.
- Find a way to say YES. Think carefully about your reasons for saying no. Control? Not wanting to deal with a mess? Think of the possibilities of saying yes to your child. Yes, you can wear socks that don’t match; Yes, you can have a friend over; Yes, I’ll play with you when I’m finished with the dishes.
- Tell your child what he can do. Dogs are for petting. Balls are for throwing. Food is for eating. Mommy is for cuddling. Teethers are for biting.
- Take care of yourself and know your triggers and needs. When are you most likely to react? How can you shift your perspective?
- Strive for a balanced lifestyle—rest, nourishment, fun, exercise.
- Choose quality child care. Whether for an hour a week or for eight hours a day, the quality of child care matters. Choose caregivers who are READY – that is, caregivers who provide sensitive and stimulating care for your child.
- Teach your child to take a break and breathe deeply.
- Provide ways for your child to feel and release intense emotions like jumping up and down, hitting pillows, or pounding the bed.
- Offer controlled choices when necessary–you can play for 0, 1, or 2 more minutes! What’s your choice? Use a timer or clock to support transitions in a concrete, visual way.
- Use water. When things are getting a little intense, try a bath for you, your child (or you and your child!). Fill the sink, a bucket, or a water table and allow your child to play or “wash” dishes or toys.
- Become a more sensitive parent. Research tells us that children experience fewer behavior problems when they receive sensitive parenting. Think R-E-A-D-Y.
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